


Reflections

by Marchtwentysixes



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Feels, Everything is platonic and nothing hurts, Feels galore, Rey Needs A Hug, Rey is not over Jakku, time for some rey-flection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-24
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-27 05:27:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14418648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marchtwentysixes/pseuds/Marchtwentysixes
Summary: Rey has quiet afternoon, all to herself.





	Reflections

She sits in her designated quarters in the newest resistance base, curtains drawn to keep out the sharp sunlight.  
She finds it an odd luxury, to idle away the afternoon hours, when just a few years ago, this would be the time she’d set out to tackle the most complex of the wreckage that littered the Jakku landscape.  
She feels it; The sun prickling against her flesh, burning heat searing through the numerous layers she’d don, the coarse sand, the splintered metal, the echoing hollowness, the durasteel walls closing in. She feels her throat tighten, suddenly dry.

Waving her hand, Rey catches the canteen she’s summoned with the Force, and gulps down the cool, filtered water she now keeps in abundance. She looks to the windows again, to the scattered figments of light that leak through the partitions between the curtains. 

Even in the dark, the imprint of the harsh Jakku sun creeps along her periphery, scorched into her retinal walls. 

Unsuccessfully trying to blink the spot away, Rey turns her gaze to the gauzy fabric of her arm wraps, fingers tracing a familiar pattern around its folds. Slowly, she began unfurling them, allowing herself to marvel in the way every sliver of newly exposed skin seemed to break into gooseflesh in the cold of her room.

Wraps off, Rey rolls them into two neat bundles and places them by her bedside, inside the drawer which is rapidly piling up with things, her things.  
On the top is a notebook Finn had bought her, from the time he and Rose had been sent to some Core World planet for recruitment.  
Pressed into alternating pages were flowers, leaves, roots.

He’d smiled at her then, and she’d smiled back. They were still new to this after all, to the world of gifts and gratitude and warmth and kindness. He told her that it was Rose who’d suggested the notebook, and Rose has blushed scarlet, mumbling something about secrets and dummies, only to be quietened by Rey rushing to embrace her. 

The three of them then sat through the night, writing stories in the notebook. ‘Happy stories’- they’d routinely reminded each other.  
Thumbing through the pages, Rey identified her careful print, Finn’s neat blocks and Rose’s messy scrawl.  
They’d written about people they’d met, places they’d been, food they’d liked. Several entries were dedicated to Poe’s sensitive bowels, Porg-stalking incidents and BB-8’s sudden fixation with taking unflattering holovids.

She closes it then-this notebook, filled with all the good around her-and keeps it back

The sun in her vision swims in the tears that cloud her eyes. She breathes deeply, and in the dark solitude of her room, lets herself cry. 

She cries for herself, for all the years she wasted,  
She cries for Finn, for his soft heart and kind soul,  
She cries for Rose, for the infinite sadness within her,  
She refuses to cry for him though.  
Refuses to cry for the boy who’d promised her she wouldn’t be alone,  
Who’d told her to not be afraid,  
Who’d begged her ‘Please’ even as the world around them turned to dust,  
But the tears keep flowing.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! I usually only write when procrastinating over assignments which are long due.  
> I wrote this because I needed to B R E A T H E for a second.  
> college be like that sometimes.  
> i hope you liked it!


End file.
